Binding: School & Library Binding
Dewey Decimal Number: 302.5408342
EAN: 9780613599146
Edition: Harvest ed
ISBN: 0613599144
Label: Turtleback
Manufacturer: Turtleback
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 320
Publication Date: April 01, 2003
Publisher: Turtleback
Reading Level: Young Adult
Studio: Turtleback
Related Items:
Alternate Versions: Click to Display
Browse for similar items by category: Click to Display
Editorial Review:
Amazon.com Review:
There is little sugar but lots of spice in journalist Rachel Simmons's brave and brilliant book that skewers the stereotype of girls as the kinder, gentler gender. Odd Girl Out begins with the premise that girls are socialized to be sweet with a double bind: they must value friendships; but they must not express the anger that might destroy them. Lacking cultural permission to acknowledge conflict, girls develop what Simmons calls "a hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression."
The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues chilling and heartbreaking acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, note-passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in private/mean in public. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, explaining, for example, three ways to parse the meaning of "I'm fat."
Simmons is a gifted writer who is skilled at describing destructive patterns and prescribing clear-cut strategies for parents, teachers, and girls to resist them. "The heart of resistance is truth telling," advises Simmons. She guides readers to nurture emotional honesty in girls and to discover a language for public discussions of bullying. She offers innovative ideas for changing the dynamics of the classroom, sample dialogues for talking to daughters, and exercises for girls and their friends to explore and resolve messy feelings and conflicts head-on.
One intriguing chapter contrasts truth telling in white middle class, African-American, Latino, and working-class communities. Odd Girl Out is that rare book with the power to touch individual lives and transform the culture that constrains girls--and boys--from speaking the truth. --Barbara Mackoff
Product Description:
THIS EDITION IS INTENDED FOR USE IN SCHOOLS AND LIBRARIES ONLY.
Average Rating: 
Rating:  -
THe item had very fast shipping and was in gret condition. I would definetly buy from this seller again.
Rating: -
My eleven year old daughter is dealing with girl bullies at her school. She's tried a variety of things to stop the situations. Some worked for awhile, some worked not at all. I happened to have Odd Girl Out on my shelf (bought it years ago-I'm a middle school teacher) and my daughter picked it up one day and said, "Mom, this is a really good book." She's read it cover to cover and has found some comfort in it. She has empowered herself and for that, I am glad.
Rating:  -
I began reading Odd Girl Out when my child was in 3rd grade and I could see some behavior I did not find appealing taking place among the girls in her class. Accusations of "bullying" were being made frequently, more by parents than the kids, but I thought reading up on the topic would be a good idea.
I found Odd Girl Out to be an easy read, it is meant for the general public and not for the academic reader. However, in my opinion, it may have been a little too lacking in professional data. There are many assertions and assumptions that are supported by narratives, however narratives are merely stories. And as with all stories there are often several sides. There are vivid stories from girls, women, and parents about what they have endured. Some of the cases really make your heart ache and the pain is palpable. However, there are several assumptions I do not really agree with.
First, I think the term bullying is very over used today. I'm very comfortable with the concept that bullying goes beyond the idea of the grade school thug who uses his/her brawn and the threat of physical harm in order to control or manipulate. I can see how rumors, exclusion and other manipulations can be defined as bullying and can cause as much, if not more harm, than the "traditional" form of bullying. Here is what I do not agree with.
The author really takes the stance that ALL girls will be bullied (in this manner) and ALL girls WILL BE bullies toward other girls. I think this is a big assumption and a gross over generalization. While reading the book I discussed the topic with numerous women in my age group as well as friends of my younger family members (ranging from 8 to 15). While many have been targets, and some even admitted to participating in bullying, a great number said they have never been on either side of the bullying fence (me included.) Making such broad generalizations is really not wise, in my opinion, as people are never one size fits all.
I also take exception with the idea that any act of unkindness is immediately considered "bullying." There are bad days. We all have them. There is going to be a time where a 9 yr old did not sleep will and will snap at a friend. There will also be days when a child thinks someone is talking about them, when in fact they are not. I think the trend today is for PARENTS to be over invested in their children and if their child experiences ANY problem with their peer group the parents want to sweep in declare the offending child a bully. Quite frequently what I see, in these cases, is the parents themselves often engage in behavior that could be CONSIDERED bullying. They talk badly about other children in front of their own child. They encourage excluding specific children. They try to get the girls to "side" with one another. Disgusting, but it happens. I am not talking about cases where there is an ongoing attempt to malign or ostracize a specific child. I'm talking about if one child feels slighted (rightly or not) on ONE day. I think parents (and the author) forget that sometimes in childhood we have disagreements and conflicts with a child on Monday, and on Tuesday it's old news. It's part of growing up. Again, I'm not talking about TRUE bullying incidents...but just day to day things that do not sum up to ongoing attempts to hurt/exclude.
As others have mentioned, I also felt the book was a bit repetitive and did not flow in the way I would have liked. It was very heavy on narratives, which were insightful and informative, but where is the data? Where is the ADVICE. I just did not seem to find that there.
I think it's a good book overall. It, along with Queen Bees and Wannabees, definitely helped to bring covert bullying (which IS real) into the publics awareness... but I think it may have made a little TOO much of it in some instances.
Rating: -
I was immediately drawn to this book because I am raising a daughter and experiencing the wrath of female aggression again through my daughter's eyes. I never realized it started so young! This book is both enlightening and affirming as it acknowledges the undercurrent of hidden female aggression that lives within our culture. We live in a society where girls are raised to be loving and nice. "Our culture refuses girls open access to open conflict, and forces their aggression into non physical, indirect, and covert forms"(Simmons, 2002,p.3). I believe there are many women in our society that can identify with this statement and find this book helpful. Rachel Simmons provides testimony to this behavior from many perspectives. The girls interviewed are different ages with diverse racial and economic profiles. How many of us remember being excluded, ganged up upon or ridiculed? What is most difficult to understand is that often all we wanted was acceptance.
Rachel Simmons wrote this book to helps girls realize they are not alone. It provides helpful advice for teachers and parents to assist girls through these difficult times. The only part that was lacking in this book for me is that I would have liked to have heard from women that continue to experience this aggression into adulthood. This behavior certainly does not end in adolescence. In fact, I don't think this hidden aggression ever ends. Maybe that is an idea for a sequel. Rachel Simmon's book is well written and certainly held my attention. I highly recommend Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons if you are raising girl in today's society.
Rating: -
I can empathize with another reviewer's position that this book offered no solutions to the victim. There is some of the typical "honor your feelings (while getting abused)" wording. But I encourage you to read the book a second time. There is a lot to digest and a lot of shock. On a second pass, you will probably glean some ideas. The passages on other, i.e. non-white, cultures which don't follow the code of silence are particularly interesting. There are girls who are capable of getting relational conflict into the open and getting over it. There are girls who have a mandate not to "stay hit". Physical confrontation, which is outright offered as a final solution at the end of the book, may be what is needed. Contrary to the author, I do not believe that relational aggressors are good girls who do bad things. We are defined by our actions. So maybe physical confrontation, or the willingness to partake, is what is needed to stop girls who have decided to be bad. Regardless, give this book a chance. It has information that can be applied - even if indirectly.
|
