SQUIDS

MARINES

SAILORS SMARTER

I resented the derogatory comment on the 12/31/05 JAG episode by the neurotic Marine General JAG Commander, when referring to U.S. Navy personnel as “SQUIDS”. This was demeaning to anyone who has served in the U.S. Navy. (My statements assume that the USN and USMC approve of all script material on JAG.)

Marines are given an elitist attitude starting in boot camp, and are taught to look down on the Navy. Therefore the “squid” label for sailors. One common Marine taunt is: I would rather have a sister in a whorehouse than a brother in the Navy. My reply to this is “Yeah, we know your sister quite well. She’s our aircraft carrier’s favorite whore.”

It is common for Sailors leaving their ship to be unduly harassed by hostile Marine gate guards and MPs ashore. Some Marines explain that this game is played to relieve their boredom, from long periods of inactivity on the job. Squids are easy targets.

Having served in the Navy and also with the U.S. State Dept. in 4 different U.S. Embassies in the Far East, I worked with several Embassy Marine Guards. A few of them were pretty cool guys, but the rest were just plain DUMB. During one emergency at the Embassy in Bangkok, we discovered that the Marine Guards had not been properly trained to start up the emergency electric generators, which was one of their duties after hours. The Marine Gunnery Sgt. in charge was reprimanded by the Embassy Communications Officer.

If you rank all branches of the U.S. Military by the level of intelligence in each branch, the Marines will most likely place at the bottom. Here’s how they probably would rank:

Navy
Air Force
Army
Coast Guard
Marines

A lot of ex-Marines end up in low paying jobs at places like Walmart, McDonalds and as security guards, after leaving the Marine Corps. This is due in part to the fact that the USMC doesn’t have the number of technical schools that the other branches of the military have. Therefore, it is not necessary to recruit a lot of people with high IQs. Most Marines would not qualify to train in highly technical programs.

There are few jobs on the outside for ex-riflemen.

Due to the type of operational and maintenance requirements for aircraft carriers, nuclear submarines and guided missiles, the Navy has a large number of highly trained technical personnel. Many of them go on to well paid jobs in civilian life.

I had a cousin who served 2 tours with the Marines in Vietnam. He was wounded twice, once at the intense battle for Hue during the Tet offensive of 1968. After Vietnam, he was promoted to Drill Instructor at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego. None of this prepared him for civilian life, and he worked a series of low paying construction jobs. He died in the VA hospital in Baltimore about 2 years ago, at age 65, from service related illnesses. We are all proud of what he went through in Vietnam, but pride didn’t help him to provide for his family.

It was a group of moron Marines in 1986 that gave access to top-secret code rooms in the U.S. Embassy in Moscow to Russian spies. Also, let’s not forget the most infamous of all ex-Marines: Lee Harvey Oswald, who in 1963 assassinated John F. Kennedy, President of the United States.

Many Marines deny that the USMC is part of the Navy, but hey guys - the Commandant of the Marine Corps reports directly to the Secretary of the Navy.

As far as Marine toughness goes - I have trained in martial arts for over 30 years, and like to quote an ex-Navy shipmate of mine who often engaged in barroom brawls with Marines: “I can beat more Marines than Marines can beat me”.

The Marines are basically ground-pounders, and have suffered a disproportionate share of fatalities in Iraq. We all should appreciate Marine bravery in combat, but don’t call us squids.

The bottom line for active duty Marines is: Enjoy the good life while you can, with your dressy uniform and all the glamour. When you get out, either put your GI bill to good use in getting some training, or be prepared for life near or below the poverty line.

As for me, I used my Navy experience in communications to get a job with the U.S. State Dept., and then used the GI bill to go to college and get a B.S. in Business Administration. I worked as a real estate appraiser/broker for 20 years. I recently retired and bought a newly built hillside home outside of Los Angeles, and am really enjoying life. Not bad for an E-5 squid, right?

If we Sailors are squids, then you Marines are SUCKERS for being conned into joining a branch of the military that provides you with no real future.

THE FEW – THE PROUD – THE UNSKILLED

Mike Green
U.S. Navy, retired